The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
