I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize