Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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