It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
