Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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