shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize