apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
