Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
