For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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