Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize