Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
