I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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