Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
