oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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