I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
