dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
