Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
