If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
