Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
