Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
