A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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