Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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