the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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