We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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