fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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