we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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