My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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