then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
