i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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