So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
