worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
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I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
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I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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