do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
