yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I didn't shave. On purpose
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
