You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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