if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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