if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
