It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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