We got so high we made milksteak
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize