But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You dont lie about slip and slides
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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