Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
