Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize