I just gift wrapped bread.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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