Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
