What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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