i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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