You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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