This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
