i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
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i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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