I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
