I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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