It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
