dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
