I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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