Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
