before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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