Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
