i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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