wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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