Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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