Nicole vs. Life
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
