great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
its liver damage thursday
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
