Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
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Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
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soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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