fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
