I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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