There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
