But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
