don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Oh god it's open bar.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
