Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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