lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
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screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize