its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Text me some of your sweat
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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