Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
