It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
