once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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